Power to the Faint

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“He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted, but they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40: 29-31

Every single one of us has been through something that has required our strength. We have tried to muscle through the rough waters of life whether it be losing a job, diagnosis, broken relationships, divorce, physical pain, wandering children, death, depression the list could go on and on. Sometimes we can get by with our own strength, we can put on a happy face and think that it’s all going to be ok. We ignore our feelings, thoughts and struggle in an effort to get to the other side.

In all honesty I have done this myself. I have pulled up my big girl pants and thought that I could get myself through a job loss, broken relationships and death. However, my own strength and will to power through wasn’t going to cut it. No matter how hard I tried, smiled and pretended like the tough stuff wasn’t happening it was always still there. My token answer to most everyone when asked how I was, usually was “I am fine” but deep down in the depths of my soul I was falling apart.

I realized how I had defaulted to using my own strength and grit to get through tough situations when I was faced with a miscarriage. Never in my life had I felt so powerless, empty and broken as I did the day there was no heartbeat on the ultrasound. My heart and soul were weary and broken and try as I might there was no way out of this without God. How I longed to lean into the strength that God promised in Isaiah but I was so furious with Him. I questioned and second guessed God, I yelled and cried and felt betrayed by the God who promised strength and peace.

In my brokenness, weariness and broken heartedness I realized that God was walking right next to me this whole time, waiting for me to hand over my pain and brokenness. He was waiting to pour out His strength and power into the most broken and weary part of my heart. All I needed to do was ask and surrender. Way easier said than done but what other option did I have? It wasn’t an easy or pretty process but God’s strength is so worth it. I can now look back and realize that my relationship with God looks so much different today because I was willing to rely on His strength and not my own. I by no means have it all figured out and still try to pull up my big girl pants and depend on my own strength and that’s when God lovingly nudges me back to himself. It looks different every time, not always a broken heart but sometimes a text, a conversation with a friend, a small group who speaks truth or the beauty of nature.

I pray that as I go through the tough stuff in life that I learn a little more each time how beautiful it is to depend on the God of the universe instead of myself. I pray that as you face the next tough situation, because it is going to happen, that you realize God is walking right alongside waiting for you to turn and hand it over to Him. He is big enough, strong enough and more than capable to handle our stuff. Bring your weary and broken and He will show up. He always does!

-Katie Kovac

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